Just Let Me Be
by Dreaming Of Infinity
Summary: He had a solid brick wall built around his mind. No one knew what he was thinking, scheming, and it was the way he liked it. Use everybody and everything. He wasn't so sure anymore, when had these things changed?


Disclaimer: I do not own Pandora Hearts nor it's characters. /sobs tears

He was weak, yet he never liked accepting the fact which was why he never showed his pain or suffering. Pity, he despised pity. It was a useless emotion. So why was he lying on the ground, ducking away from anyone who so happens to check on him, and wallowing in self-pity. He was disgusted nonetheless. Xerxes Break was not one for pity, and he should not be lying on the ground like a broken a porcelain doll. Yet here he laid, weaken. When was he weaken to this state?

It may have been because of the way he pushed himself. He had to exert more then anyone else, he always had to be lingering at the edge of the cliff, leaning between life and death to get it. What exactly was he going to accomplish? Was it to erase the guilt? The guilt of having that one girl that should have lived die, or is it to atone for his sins? He was not guilty nor did he see why he should be forgiven. If there was a God, he was sure he wasn't going to heaven. There was blood on him, stains that soaked his clothing so deep that he would surely never be able to get rid of. He swore that his hands were bloodied till the point where they were stained forever red.

Use everybody, and everything. The words echoed through his mind as he reflected on his past actions. He was to use everybody, make no friends, but plenty of connections, to eventually gain what he wants. He started to drift upon what happened with Vincent and Miss Sharon. His excuse for saving her was that Miss Shelly would kill him if he didn't. He sacrificed something that was worthwhile for him, anwers, for a simple antidote. The excuse seemed to be a lie, if she did die, he would have been broken. She reminded him of Emily Sinclair. The upbeat attitude, pleasant smiles, and how both of them will never truly grow up. Emily dead at a young age and Sharon stuck in a teenager's body never being able to experience adulthood.

_Emily_

Maybe that's where his life changed. He found a way to smile around her, maybe that's why she affected him so much. He even had a doll named after her. Of course the personality and looks differ, he had the doll to remind him of her. Even when he's grasping for his last breath or lost his memory, he'll have the doll near him to remind him of her. The blonde haired and blued eyed child, with a smile that could bring any of the stone-hearted knights to melt and smile.

-**[-]**-

As the door creaked open, Break tried to hide himself better against the side of the bed. He was being childish and once he saw that it was Sharon he was embarrassed. He was mortified by what happened. Maybe he had been rash, maybe he never actually placed anyone in front of his own needs. He wasn't one to think about how anyone felt, after all his mentality disappeared the day he fell into the abyss.

-**[-]**-

He didn't know how it happened really, but he found himself, with his head on Miss Sharon's shoulder. Their roles had seem to switch, he was the one who comforted her back when she was a child. It was awkward yet comfortable. He finally came to terms that he had change, for better or for worse he did not know. His emotions showed through, he had been shameful before but no one ever suspected, his childish demeanor always covered it up. Maybe, just for once he'll show he's weak. That he felt safe enough to let his emotions through, just to feel lazy and useless for once in his life. Kevin Renegard and his bloodshed forgotten and for once smile a true one. To let the people close to him know they are, after all they always just let him be. He tucked his head closer to her and let out a smile. Yes, just let him be the way he was, a self-dependent, broken, insane, annoying, and an untrustworthy man, and for once let him feel useless, like the world wasn't weighing him down. Just to feel what it's like before he has to go back to who he was, and is. After all he is the Xerxes Break.

**A/N:** I found this typed up on my computer and decided to published it. Please excuse the OOC and any grammatical errors. This is just the way I view the situation, and after all Break is a complex character(at least to me). This is my first time at eh, what is this angst? I'm not quite sure about the genre but anyways I hope you enjoy it anyways and it didn't make you flail in agony!

Reviews would be appreciated but it's okay! ^-^ I'll be glad you read it this far!


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